A Word for the Self-Assured

Sharing the gospel with former members of the LDS Church can be extremely challenging. Although many become hostile to all forms of faith, most adopt a worldview I call “the theology of self-assurance.” It goes something like this: I’m at peace with my faith journey – I think God accepts all genuine people and I’m certain He will open His arms to me when I die.

Self-assured theology, to be sure, affects many cultures and goes back as far as Cain (Genesis 4:3-5). Yet, it affects ex-Mormons particularly because self-assurance naturally springs from a Mormon worldview. Latter-day Saints are taught from an early age to confirm truth within their own hearts (D&C 9:8), to draw conclusions about God by envisioning a perfected man,¹  and to think of themselves as potentially divine.²

It should be no surprise, then, that former Mormons not only look to themselves for truth, but assume that God’s attitude toward sinners resembles their own (Isaiah 55:8-9). Ironically, when former Mormons run from Mormonism, they often do it in a very Mormon, self-assured way.

Yet, hope abounds. For God says, “my word … shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). When we put our confidence in the power of God’s word, the question is no longer, “What do I say?” Instead, it becomes, “How do I get God’s Word into the heart of my self-assured friend?”

I’d like to suggest three points:

• Empathize Hopefully
• Evaluate Lovingly
• Encourage Biblically

Empathize Hopefully

All who’ve left the LDS Church have, at least in some way, lost their view of God. That loss leads to many different hurts and broken relationships. Fortunately for them, God has great compassion for those who’ve been harmed by false teaching. Psalm 147:3 says that God “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Jesus had great compassion on the Jewish sheep with no shepherd (Matthew 9:36). And when a synagogue leader falsely suggested that a suffering woman should wait until the end of the Sabbath to be healed, Jesus rebuked the man severely and rejoiced with the woman he so effortlessly healed (Luke 13:10-17).

Many ex-Mormons harbor intense bitterness and need help giving those wrongs to Jesus. Others are extremely reluctant to make another attempt at religion. And still others despair that they can know the truth. Whatever the case for your friend, listening empathetically and then directing them hopefully to God’s compassion is the gospel’s first step.

Evaluate Lovingly

People say the silliest things when they’re trying to win an argument. So, I strongly recommend trying to steer the conversation away from arguments and toward reflections. To that end, I’ve learned some hard lessons (some of which I’ve had to learn repeatedly). Perhaps they can be helpful for you.

First, I always ask permission to interact with another’s theology. I say something like, “Would you be ok if I asked some follow-up questions?” Second, I proceed slowly. I ask for clarifications, definitions, and points of their religious past that may be affecting their conclusions. Third, I try very hard not to sound accusatory, but rather inquisitive. Accusations start with, “But the Bible says …!” Instead, I try to ask, “Have you considered Jesus’s words on this point? If so, how do you take them into account?” In other words, I assume more thought on their part, not less.

You may be asking, “What Bible verses should I use?” I find myself most frequently directing ex-LDS friends to John 1-4, Hebrews 1, and Romans 5. But, in my opinion, the very best preparation is to read the whole Bible every year, year after year. Consistent, whole-Bible reading plans will give you a well-fortified base of Biblical knowledge that you can use to help all your unsaved friends.

Encourage Biblically

When John Wycliffe was crusading for an English Bible, he said, “I have but one note, and I sing it constantly.” For the self-assured, we should constantly sing the note of one-on-one Bible study. Have you ever done a study on the Biblical God? Would you read a book of the Bible with me? Would you consider reading a Bible devotional book with me? If you accept that the red words in the Gospels are true – would you study those with me?

The rationale is three-fold. First, “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17). The sooner ex-Mormons read the word of Christ, the sooner the Holy Spirit can use those words to pierce the heart and give life (John 6:63). Second, the only antidote for self-assured theology is the objective word of Christ (Colossians 2:8). True theology doesn’t dictate to Christ but finds its source and content in Christ. Third, Bible study illustrates the proper posture of the worshipper to the Worshiped. We come to the Bible to hear from God, not to impose on God.

Conclusion

When I’ve conversed with the self-assured, I’ll admit that I’m often at a loss for words. Nothing makes me feel more helpless than when a person shuts their ears and hearts to the voice of God. But God’s grace, hopeful empathy, loving evaluation, and Biblical encouragement can begin to turn the hearts of our self-assured friends to Jesus, “the founder and perfector of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2).